It’s not for them; it’s for me.

When I became pregnant with Belle, over four years ago, I wanted to learn everything I could about becoming a mother and caring for my child. I listened to podcasts, I read blogs, and I researched everything from baby gear to baby poop. This never stopped. Even now, with two kids, I find there are things I don’t know or want to know more about. I find excitement in researching and learning about parenthood and being a mom. I find even more joy in sharing what I know with other parents. Flick, my husband, convinced me to start a blog and that’s how Momstracted came about.  

You know when you go into an interview and they ask, “what are your weaknesses”? Well, my weakness is that I don’t ease into things. I go full-force, head-on, and dive right into the deep end. I saw all of these moms with successful blogs and podcasts and thought, “that’s what I needed to be.” In the grand scheme of things, it’s not realistic. Yes, I understand that if I work really hard I can be anything, but not really. What I didn’t realize is that I can’t compare my life or my goals to other people. What I should have done was to slowly dip my toes in and get a feel for the whole blogosphere before cannonballing into the deep end. 

 So here I am, four years later with two kids, a new house, and a dog who drives me crazier than both of my kids put together and I have no plans on putting my dreams on hold. 

 I want to thank a dear friend for prompting me to write this blog. I got a text from her asking if I was still blogging. This led into a conversation about how it is so difficult to balance being a wife and mother all while trying to be YOU. As mothers, we put so much pressure on ourselves. Personally, it’s not because I’m trying to have the “perfect” family. I’m doing it because I WANT to. Yes, I’m crazy. I love spending time with my kids, and I enjoy having a nice home and making it that way. I enjoy my crazy, hectic life but there are also those things I HAVE to do that I don’t enjoy. Like working and paying bills. Finding the balance between all of this is hard and we think, “oh those other moms are doing it so I should be able to handle it too.” The reality of it is that we are all different. We all come from different places in life and it’s not okay to set standards based on others lives. 

 I’ve gone back and forth with whether or not I should keep my blog or leave it behind. I am not consistent with my posts and they are very sporadic. I also wonder if anyone even cares what I have to say. With all of those negative thoughts, I always come back to this…It’s not for them; it’s for me. Yes, I’d love to someday be a high profile blogger. Right now, I’m okay just being a wife, a mom, and person who sometimes writes a blog post. 

 Thanks to anyone who follows Momstracted. I truly appreciate your interest and hope that what I have to say helps at least one person in this crazy world of parenthood.

 Just remember…it’s okay to be Momstracted if that’s what makes you happy. 

-Momstracted Momma

Being a mom is hard

Let’s just pretend for a second that nobody judges anyone and momshaming doesn’t exist. 

Being a mom is hard and sometimes I just want a minute to myself. Now let me preface this so that I don’t get shamed to death. I love my kids. I’m blessed with two healthy, smart, active children and I would give anything to be able to be a stay-at-home mom. Okay, now you know  I dearly love my kids. However, I’m human and I’m exhausted. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. And here’s an example of why I’m so exhausted.

We recently moved into a new house. Anyone that has moved knows that it doesn’t just magically become an HGTV Dreamhouse overnight. It takes time. As a full-time working mother of two; guess what I don’t have….time. My everyday is packed full with routine necessities. And on the weekends, like today, I still can’t get anything done that I want to do. 

All I wanted was to build a baby gate and sew some stinking Halloween costumes. Do either of these things really matter? No, but it’s something I enjoy and something I find relaxing. However, my 3 year old decided to bring out every toy she’s ever gotten and then when it’s time to pick-up she suddenly doesn’t know where they all came from. Why is it that they know how to dump them all out but don’t know how to pick them up? Oh and I try the timer tactic but she doesn’t care and she could also care less if we take them away. So, commence nap time…

I finally got Guy to take a nap after he whined for 10 minutes straight. I then make Bell take a nap after she refused to clean-up the “natural disaster” in her room. Well this resulted in a screaming rage because she “doesn’t want to take a nap.” Eventually she stops crying and finds a book to read in her bed. At this moment it appeared the stars had all aligned and I was going to win the mommy lottery and get some quiet time to do the things I “wanted” to get done (really I need to get them done but the world won’t stop spinning if I don’t). I sent Flick to the hardware store and found a nice comfy spot on the floor to work on Halloween costumes. Wouldn’t you know it. As soon as Flick pulled out of the driveway Guy started crying. 

You have got to be kidding me!! I didn’t even get to thread the needle much less see a stitch. So, now I have to go put away all of my sewing stuff because I can’t leave it out for the kids to get into and really who knows when I’ll get the opportunity again. Just the thought of having to get up and put everything away makes my face hot and my chest tight. 

I need a break. All moms need a break. You’ve gotta speak up and tell someone, “hey watch my kids for like 2 hours while I just relax and get some stuff done.” Being a mom is hard but being a good mom is even harder. I adore my children but it’s not healthy for myself or them if I don’t get away and just chill out. So, yes. I’m  extremely blessed. And, no. Having a clean house, costumes for Halloween, and pretty painted walls doesn’t matter. However, I like doing those things and that’s what I choose as my “free-time.” I adore my children but it’s not okay for them to act like raging maniacs and disobey. I understand kids being kids but I also understand authority. So, yes. I am going to discipline my children for not following the rules. And no. I don’t think a three year old should be able to clean her room spotless. However, I need my sanity and something has to give. 

Go ahead and shame away. I’m an overworked, overtired momma who absolutely, unselfishly loves her children but also needs a break.

(deep, slow exhale),

Momstracted Momma

And Then There Were Four, Part 3 of 3 – 3rd Trimester

This is the third and final installment of “And Then There Were Four – 3rd Trimester.” We checked back in at 39 weeks. We talk about our trip to the emergency room when we thought we were going to meet our little Guy. Flick and I talked about our anxieties and anticipations that go along with having a baby, even though it was our second.

We question the common practice of Midwives and Obstetricians only being available to deliver when they are on call. We LOVE our midwife and if we are blessed with another pregnancy, she will be our midwife again. However, we had a scheduled induction with Bell so we didn’t have the experience of having to call our doctor and rushing to the hospital. Please don’t misinterpret our questioning and frustrations for disrespect in any way. Our midwife is a very hard working, dedicated medical professional who helped us make a wonderful birth story that we will forever cherish.

After the hospital visit and being sent home to progress more, I became very impatient. In this episode I talked about my struggle with whether or not I should walk to progress or rest to progress. We talk about bursts of energy and waves of emotion.

You’ll notice lots of yawning when you listen to this episode. I was a very tired 39 week pregnant momma. So I apologize in advance.

Momstracted Podcast #6 – And Then There Were Four, Part 3 of 3 – 3rd Trimester

Hope you enjoy listening to this episode. Please give us feedback and let us know what you think. Also check us out on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

-Momstracted Momma

And Then There Were Four, Part 2 of 3 – 2nd Trimester

Between chasing a toddler and fatigue, we took a long time to record another episode.

Flick and I were able to record this podcast and talk about what I was feeling and what was different for the second trimester of the second pregnancy. Transitioning from a family of three to a family of four was a big topic for us and we expressed our anxieties of how we expected to feel when that change happens.

A big announcement was made when we told the gender of baby #2 and how we’ll refer to he or she on the podcast. We also talk about transitioning Bell into a toddler bed and how she’s responding to the idea of becoming a big sister.

Anyone have a second baby shower? Were you hesitant? Well, so were we. We express our concern and appreciation of a “second baby” shower.

We had high hopes for a dramatic rush to the hospital. In this episode you can listen to our hopes and desires for our labor and delivery.

While this is the second in a series of old episodes that were never aired, we are excited to share with you the experiences of our pregnancy with baby #2. We hope you enjoy listening and find some helpful tidbits in the podcast episode.

Momstracted Podcast #6 – And Then There Were Four, Part 2 of 3 – 2nd Trimester

-Momstracted Momma

The Struggle is Real

As a mom of an active 3 year old and an always hungry 6 month old, I’m constantly faced with the struggle of comfort vs style. The struggle is real. Ha!

Honestly though, as mothers we are constantly changing and re-arranging our lives based on the needs of our children. I’m okay with that. Really, I thrive off of my children needing me. However, as a woman I find that after a while I begin to feel down and need a pick-me up. Maybe it’s because I only get 4 hours of sleep a night or maybe it’s because I’m constantly covered in milk, slobber, vomit, poop, and urine (often all at once). I mean, let’s face it, when you choose your outfit, hair-do and food (Guy has a dairy intolerance) based on your kids’ needs, there’s not much left of YOU.

No, I’m not complaining. I’m just saying, every once in a while you need something besides your family that makes you feel good about yourself; something that makes you say, yeah, I still got it! That “thing” could be a new hairstyle or maybe a new outfit. For me, it was a bra.

I was given the opportunity to try out a nursing/pumping bra from The Dairy Fairy. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. Up until now, I’d been wearing the cheapest nursing bras I could find and they certainly weren’t cute. When I opened the package and pulled out the Ayla Luxury Lace Nursing and Handsfree Pumping bra, my immediate response was, “umm…its lace!” I don’t wear lacy anything and certainly not undergarments. Don’t get me wrong, it’s super cute but those aren’t comfortable. I’m used to cotton and spandex. Those are mom fabrics. Well, well…let me just tell you. Not only did it make me feel like a hot momma, but it was super comfy and practical.

It’s difficult for me to find a good fitting bra. I have scoliosis and it makes my bras twist and bunch and it’s just overall annoying. The Ayla has a nice band under the cups that fits snug. It also has a mini underwire. If you were to look through my current, embarrassing collection of bras; you’d find that I actually cut-out any underwire that I come in contact with. They dig into my sternum and sides and I altogether just try to avoid underwires. Not this time. The Ayla’s mini underwire doesn’t even wrap all the way around the cup. It only comes to the mid-center and it keeps everything right where it should be.

So, I mention that my son loves to nurse. He’s six months old and still on a feeding schedule of every two to three hours. Yep, he’s a big boy and when he’s hungry, he doesn’t want to wait. Having a nursing bra that is easy to clip and unclip is key to getting my Guy his food when he wants it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fidget with a nursing clip to get the stinking thing unlatched. Thanks Dairy Fairy for making a bra that has a clip that’s quick and easy to use. Oh, and because the material is thin and flexible, it’s easy to fold down and out of the way while nursing.

IMG_2250_for blog

Besides being a mommy and wife, I have a full-time job that requires me to be away from the kids 10 hours a day. Therefore, I have to pump while I’m away. I recently posted a picture in one of my Lactation Facebook groups of the indentions on my arms from where I hold the flanges while I pump. Anyone know what I’m talking about? Up until I tried the Ayla, I’d never had a hands-free pumping bra and I pumped for over a year for my daughter. Hands free pumping is where it’s at! Wow! I love how I have both hands to look at adorable pictures on my phone of my kids while I pump and I don’t have the painful, unattractive indentions from trying to hold both flanges while I pump. The hidden flange openings make it easy and convenient to pump both sides at once. The openings are small enough to keep the flange (mine are 27mm) in place but big enough to fit them through easily.

I mentioned that comfort is key for me in a nursing/pumping bra. One of the only things I really dislike about nursing is having to sleep in a bra. The 9 months between weaning my daughter and having my son were the most comfortable months of my life as a mother because I didn’t have to sleep in a bra. Needless to say, I didn’t have high hopes for the bra as a nighttime undergarment. Wow! I was completely impressed. The Ayla was actually very comfortable while sleeping. It didn’t twist and bunch and the nursing clip made for easy nighttime feedings.

While I’m not big of shopping for bras and definitely not a fan of spending the $$$ on a bra, I find myself excited to replace some of my old, worn-out, impractical nursing bras with new ones from the Dairy Fairy.

If you struggle to find a bra that’s right for you, try the Dairy Fairy.

Thanks Dairy Fairy for making a bra that is practical, comfortable, and stylish all at the same time.

-Momstracted Momma

 

And Then There Were Four, Part 1 of 3 – 1st 11 Weeks

We’ve been gone from the Momstracted world for a while but here’s what happened while we were gone. In episode 5 of the Momstraced podcast we made our big pregnancy announcement. We talk about trying and the multiple tests I took while “impatiently” waiting to find out if we were going to have another baby.

We touch on the differences in symptoms that I’ve experienced with the second pregnancy compared to our first. We also ponder the idea of whether or not people even care about your second pregnancy. Later, we discuss all of the changes that I’ve gone through between conception up until 11 weeks and give the listeners a special treat and play a recording of the heartbeat from the at-home fetal doppler.

Also in this episode we update you on Bell and how introducing potty training went. Our hopes were that she’d be potty trained before Baby #2 got here…Keep listening and you’ll see how that went…or didn’t…

Besides potty training we also talk about Bell’s reaction and our expectations for her as a big sister.

Flick and I make our predictions of whether we thought Baby #2 was a boy or girl. Since this is an old episode you probably already know. 😉

While this is an old episode that was never aired we are excited to share with you the experiences of our pregnancy with baby #2. We hope you enjoy listening and find some helpful tidbits in the following podcast episodes.

Episode number 5

-Momstracted Momma

Guess Who’s Back…

Yes, I’ve been gone quite a while but I’m back and our family is bigger than ever. We’ve added a new little man to our family and we can’t wait to tell you all about our little Guy. No, his name isn’t Guy, but that’s how we’ll be referring to him on Momstracted.

We’re gonna play catch up on the first few podcast episodes that are released. My eyes are always bigger than my stomach. Similarly, my ambitions are always bigger than my reality. ha! I had hoped to keep up with entries and podcasting along my pregnancy journey but it didn’t happen. Flick and I did record a couple of podcasts during the pregnancy but that’s as far as we got. Guy is now six months old. Yep, we have a lot of catching up to do. So, we’ll post the two pregnancy episodes and then we’ll do a long “Catching up” episode where we will fill you in on the birth and everything that has happened in the past six months since the birth.  It’ll be a two-parter.

While there are still some major life changes going on in our world, I’m happier than ever and I can’t wait to share it with you all. Please, tell your friends, share our posts and comment on the blog. We love to hear from anyone that’s listening and encourage feedback.

More to come,

Momstracted Momma